When I learned that I didn’t need to do anything to make a man love me, I experienced freedom.  Before this discovery, I read countless books, blogs, articles and opinions to find the 8th Wonder of the World.  How to win a man’s heart.  There is no magic. Only Divine Order and time. It’s about being open to experiences & circumstances that you would have otherwise avoided like the plague.  It’s about developing a new routine and stepping out on faith. You must also understand that your heart and love is a gift to another to be won, cherished, respected and adored.  You deserve reciprocity in a relationship; it is time to stop pursuing unrequited love once and for all.    

It’s time to write a new chapter and turn over a new leaf.  It’s about making eye contact with men and smiling at them versus looking at the ground, being distracted by your phone or even by your girlfriends when you’re out.  Even though a male friend told me this many years ago, I still underestimated the power of paying attention to who was paying attention to me; who was checking me out.  There was a time when I thought that I needed to play it cool and appear disinterested and coy; even when the opposite was true.  I walked in the scent of inaccessible, unbothered and untouchable.  And so it was. I don’t know how many men I repelled by my unavailable consciousness.  

Oddly, there were men who did approach me despite my deceptive aura.  Those men were likely thrill seekers and those who loved a challenge.  And nothing more.  Once the game was over or they had mastered whatever they sought out, they revealed themselves to be as disinterested as I appeared. It’s funny how we get back what we give out. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a part of a couple.  There is nothing wrong with being happy. In fact there is something very wrong about not being happy.  Just be patient when love finds you because sometimes it appears indiscernible.  Some people are single so long that fantasy overrides reason and reality. There is nothing wrong with a “must have” list in terms of your ideal mate’s values, attributes, resources, et cetera.  Just try to maintain this list in pencil rather than ink. 

Someone once said that the good that we seek is always seeking us.  I am living proof that this is true in all things…even in love.