What is love really? Do you know?

For me love is…

Not saying everything that immediately comes to mind.

Why?

Because if the same were said to us by the one we love, we would be seriously devastated.  The emotional damage could likely be irreparable. 

Love is knowing that you are right about a point or situation. Love is knowing that the other person may be aware of this yet is on a different page, and thus has valid points to be considered also. People who enjoy successful relationships work extremely hard to be on the same page when it comes to things that matter: core values, family, ethics, etc. 

Being in a relationship with some (one) who is always right means that everyone else is always wrong. This is not a home, it is a prison. 

Love is accepting the one whom we have chosen. All of it. Because we chose them. And they chose us. We picked each other. Accept your part in the decision to be partnered with this human being. If not, perhaps a revised decision based on the new information is in order.

Yes, there are disagreements. And yes, we gain more information or clarity as the relationship evolves and we evolve in it. I agree that it’s impossible to know about all of the traits and idiosyncrasies that another person has after a few dates. This is why dating is really a discovery phase. In the midst of dining at fancy restaurants, new-couple-weekends/meet and greets, and other juicy parts of new love, the key objective is to assess early on-the other person’s suitability for being our life partner.

Men more often than women, will reveal themselves relatively early in the relationship. At least this has been my experience.  For me, love is knowing that I can’t change who my mate inherently is. Influence, yes. Empower, absolutely. But change someone into a completely different human being? 

Guess what? 

Organized religion has been trying to do the same for centuries.  

How has that worked out? 

Love. Just. Is.